Choose Wisely

choosewiselyBefore you make the big choice, take time to ask some very important questions. It will save you a lot of unnecessary anguish.

Choose Wisely

You must choose, but choose wisely. For as the true Grail will bring you life, the false Grail will take it from you.

This ominous quote is from the movie, Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade.

Think about the most important choices you make in life. Making the best decisions starts with knowing yourself and being honest about what you deeply want. Sure, while making decisions other people are considered, but it begins and ends with you. Continue reading

Never Say Never, Or How I Began Doing Bikram (Hot) Yoga

bikramI have done yoga, alone in my bedroom, off and on for a few years. I am not particularly flexible nowadays, but once I was fairly so. I had a health problem in the beginning of the year and since then I had done no yoga at all.

My older daughter lives where there is a Bikram studio and has practiced Bikram for over three years and says how much it helps relieve her chronic health problems. It surprised me because she is utterly against being physically uncomfortable, so I could not imagine her being hooked on it! Continue reading

Nag Relief 101

NaggingSo… DO you nag? Does your significant other avoid the next furrowed brow or deep sigh as you notice what you had asked for has not yet been done? He is well trained to read your body language when you are less than pleased and when your expectations have not been met. Just like with children, scolding (nagging) seems to bring on the need for more scolding. It becomes a vicious, resentful circle. Our relationships don’t flourish when our perceived needs are not being met yet the resentment that builds emotionally separates us from the very people we love the most. They are not children, but behave like children, rebelling against nagging. They, like children try to please when they are feeling appreciated, understood and loved. Just like you do. Continue reading

Who’s Your “Everybody”?

VTfallI was walking yesterday, in the beautiful fall weather here in Vermont, and was thinking about the upcoming talk on stress that I am doing later this week at the Rutland Regional Medical Center. I was going through the list of stress factors for the presentation and got to our “Everybody”. The “Everybody” is a very important factor in our stress and it is unique for each of us.

Who is “Everybody”? It is a small group of people who raised us and individuals who became very important to us at crucial developmental stages in our lives. It is a committee of a few key people put together by our social self to protect and help us. On the other hand, it is also the “Everybody” whose perceived opinion we use internally to make decisions or to judge ourselves in our minds. For example, think of when you are asked to do something that is outside your comfort zone or something you have never considered. Your response might be, “Everybody will think I am crazy!” You can come up with your own situation for your use of “Everybody”, but few of us escape his influence. Continue reading

Dropping Fears

Bonnie on trail rideI recently read a blog post from one of my mentors, Terry DeMeo, http://www.thewayfinderpost.com/life-begins-at-the-edge-of-your-comfort-zone/, as seen on the Wayfinder Post. This blog was about reclaiming courage over fear of heights, which I can relate to and this brought me to a related thought about where these fears come from, how they affect us and affect other people in our lives as well.

When I was thinking about my own fear of heights, I began to unravel the origin of my fear. I noticed where it came from and why and how holding onto that fear also taught others to fear too, namely my children. Continue reading

Lions Calling

LionThis is my memory of our last game drive at Londolozi. Please forgive any inaccuracies in my account. No notes were taken and it is my memory after all.

We were back in our room after dinner at about nine p.m. on the last night of our stay at Londolozi.  As was usual, I was aware that there were animal sounds outside. There was a pond just a short distance from our room and we often heard sounds made by the hippos in the water. They made a variety of sounds, some grunting and some almost growling. But these animal sounds really made me think of lions, roaring over and over again, and it went on through out the night. Continue reading

I Love You, I Love Me

View of Butler Island from North Hero

View of Butler Island from North Hero. Watercolor by Sally Olson, 2004.

I am at one of my favorite places on the planet right now and doing the needed spring clean up from the winter winds, mice and dust. I am opening camp! Yay!

I am in the quaint, quiet town of North Hero, Vermont, which sits on one of a string of islands on Lake Champlain. Where our camp is located, we face the Green Mountains, and we get to be the first to see the sunrise as we face east. It is dazzling.

I am here alone on the weekend before the Memorial Day holiday and I am surprised to find none of my neighbors around. This means less commotion and more wild life. Continue reading

Do You Know A Sociopath When You Meet One? Or, “Sociopaths 101”

Narcissus

Narcissus (1590s) by Caravaggio (Galleria Nazionale d’Arte Antica, Rome)

I have been doing some research about Narcissists and Sociopaths lately so that I can reach a better understanding of them. I know that many of us and many clients have encountered these personalities in life. Our desire to “be nice” often causes us to be open to the chaos that these people can create. We carry forward the desire to be nice from our childhood. Do you remember when you were young and your Mom would take you to her friend’s home and the friend had this kid that was pure evil? You didn’t want to be alone in the same room with the child and would try to quietly tell your Mom what was going on and you would get the brush off, “just play nice”. The child was putting out energy that made you very uncomfortable and yet you were made to just put up with the situation. Well, we are adults now and don’t have to be nice to people who make us uncomfortable anymore. But the automatic response which we are trained to have is to “ be nice”, even when our “essential self” is telling us to get away from this person. Some of these people can harm us emotionally and worse and we need to recognize them so that we will keep our boundaries up and not let them into our life. How do we recognize these people? Well, that is what this post is about. Continue reading

Deeply Sweet

Sap BucketsI want you to notice, really take time to notice that signs of change are here. It still feels like winter most days but the sun is stronger, days are longer and the sap is starting to run from the maple trees.  While it is “mud season” here in Vermont, many people make maple syrup. Sugaring is an activity, which has been done for centuries, beginning with Native American Vermonters. Vermonters sugar to bridge the gap between winter and spring, making a messy, muddy season more bearable, while they join friends for the work and play that is sugaring. We become again, like the communities that once existed, in the old farming tradition, where we need each others help to get a big job done. We share meals and talk about the weather in the sugar house in between gathering sap, boiling it and canning the syrup. It is a deeply sweet experience all together. Continue reading

Don’t Be A Turkey! No, On Second Thought, Be A Turkey!

Think like a turkey!It is late in the year and something a bit different is occurring in nature in our area. We are seeing more wild animals than usual and it is because there is less of their natural food available in the woods. There are few acorns or beechnuts from the trees, which is a great source of food is for deer and wild turkeys this time of year. We have had some strange weather the last couple of years. Last year we had virtually no snow, but the year before we had record amounts of snow. I don’t remember having so much before and I grew up here, in Vermont. The heavy snow killed off many turkeys. They just can’t manage walking through the deep snow to find food, and the same is true for deer. So, it has been nice to see their numbers come back. Continue reading

Courtesy of WSYB 1380 AM

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