I asked her what about the woman was so appealing, and she replied that it was her command of leadership. The woman walked into a store, and as the client watched her, everyone working there seemed to drop what they were doing to help her. The woman was not unkind but carried herself with authority and self-respect. The people who worked there simply responded to that energy of leadership. My client was in awe of this woman.
I giggled. I give workshops and this client has attended them. I have observed her walk into the room and I had to tell her that she carries herself with quiet confidence, grace and authority. She was not too different from the woman she admired.
We often don’t see ourselves as others see us. And, if we see something in someone that strikes a chord in us, good or bad, it is typically a mirror to a trait we possess within ourselves.
Martha Beck calls this reaction to someone else, “You spot it, you got it.” Or the old saying, “It takes one to know one” says it all. We can’t see in someone something we don’t have within us. I know it can be hard to believe. So, when you have a strong reaction to someone again, good or bad, ask yourself where, even in the smallest way, might you also have that trait yourself. You may be surprised what shows up for you. The more intense your reaction is, the greater the self-denial sometimes.
In this upcoming presidential election cycle, it might be fun to see what we love about some candidates and what we dislike about others. You don’t have to take it too seriously. Just have fun with it! It could even be your shadow self showing up! But that’s for another blog article.